Boys R Us is right around the corner my sisters. That’s right! It drops Tuesday July 7th. That’s one week from today. 

• And to celebrate I just signed one of my advanced copies (I only got three!) and left it by the steps going down to Oak Street beach in Laguna Beach. If you find it please post and let me know. Prove it by telling me what I wrote inside. 
• I did a similar thing on Monday. I left an Alpha’s T-shirt at a coffee shop. Who found it???? 
• To get you in the spirit here is a sample of the Boys R Us audio book, available on iTunes and Audible.com on July 17th. 
• boys-r-us-webclip_300k.mov
• SHOUT OUT TO: Hannah for rocking a hot pink cast!!!! Hope your arm heals soon. 
• HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!
• HAPPY HUNTING!
• TTYW,
• Lisi

• I’ve tried to read on the beach. I really have. But it’s sooo uncomfortable. And worse? It’s terrible for the tan. If you’re laying face-up you need sunglasses to cut the glare. Which is fine if you’re a grayish-brown American mammal that has a fox-like face with a mask and ringed tail. But if not, you probably won’t like the results. 
• In that case you may decide to lay on your stomach and read. Which again, is fine, if you prefer your spine shaped like a U instead of the standard I.  
• Me? I prefer to listen to my summer books on my iPod. Not only does it allow me to lay comfortably and tan evenly, but a girl wearing headphones lets beach pervs know to stay away. Whereas a book looks more like an invitation to chat. 
• That said, here are some samples of books I recommend you download before hitting the sand, sea, airplane, long bus ride, RV, backseat with annoying sibling, or donkey trek up the Himalayas. They are all available on iTunes or Audible.com. Just put in the title you want and hit search. 
• Now go enjoy your even tan, aligned spine, and beach-perv free summer!  
• The Clique Summer Collection. 
• the-clique-massie-web-_300k.mov 
• the-clique-claire-web-_300k.mov
• the-clique-dylan-web-c_300k.mov
• the-clique-alicia-web-_300k.mov
• the-clique-ps-i-loat_3_300k.mov

I know there’s no Kristen so I put in PS I Loathe You. Kristen is available. I just don’t have her file.  Next week I’ll post Boys R Us. It’s awesome.  

• SHOUT OUT TO KENNA! Have an ah-mazing bday tomorrow.     

TTYW,Lisi 

Hello my friends. I am back from ten days of family fun in Toronto. It was a great vacation but I am ready to get back to work. Next up? I am finishing Charmed and Dangerous: The Rise of The Pretty Committee. It’s the Clique prequel about the night the girls met. Possibly one of my favorites. More on that in a few weeks.

• Since I am staring at a to-do list the size of my leg I am going to make this snappy and leave you with some video. It was shot in my office about 6 weeks ago. I believe I blah-gged about it at the time. My hair is a little frizzy (life at the beach can be so tough) but it will give you some info about Alphas. And that’s so much more important than my hair.*

• * Not really. I’m just saying that so you don’t think I’m shallow.
• alphaspromo.mov  

• SHOUT OUT to Melody for noticing that on the temporary cover of Alphas Skye Hamilton is holding a pair of ballet shoes called the Bloch Alphas.  How amazing that you noticed that. Would you think I was cooler if I told you it was planned that way? Okay, it was planned.
•  TTYW,Lisi 

• When someone is aghast they say, “I have no words.” Well, color me the opposite. Because I am aghast, and all I have are words. Words like; impressive, detailed, above and beyond (in that order), brilliant, helpful, insightful, charming, funny, poignant, and oh yes u did!
•  That’s right sisters. Last Wednesday I posted a cry for help. I needed to know the difference between 8th grade girls and 9th grade girls for These Boots Are Made For Stalking. And thuh-ow-sands of you answered. Wait, I take that back. You didn’t just answer you broke it down. Wait. You didn’t just break it down you crushed it to pieces then put it back together again!!!! I got essays. Long, well written, detail saturated essays. And now I am fully in the know on how much things change when you go from 8th to 9th. 
• You all said: eighth graders have attitude. They are in the highest grade in their school, whereas the nine-ers are back at the bottom so they are more insecure. Nine-ers wear too much bronzer (already added to TBAMFS, thank you very much ), they stop saying OMG and BFF, and their parties are a lot more, shall I say, parent-unfriendly.
• Everyone who answered blew me away. Hilary, Amanda, Brianna, Karly, Summer, Julia, Hannah, Hanna aka Danica, and soooooooo many more. But the name that will go into These Boots Are Made For Stalking is……
•  Before I tell you, let me explain why I chose her. Not only did this girl write something that rivals the Bible in length, but she made it her own. She created characters to help illustrate her points, she had a cute line about hair ( “9th graders want something that can appear in fashion magazines, not Toys R Us.”), and she even told me how 9th graders speak– “Diction becomes more fluent and articulate…they talk a little slower to get their point across….” Sister thought this through. So congratulations Mary!!!! I see why you got your short story printed your school magazine. You take this writing thing pretty seriously. And, well, so do I Keep an eye out for your name in These Boots Are Made For Stalking. 
• Thanks again to all of you for sending your brilliant observations. I will do my best to include your insights in the book. Pinky swear. 

SHOUT OUT: Happy 14th Birthday Allison from me and Karla!!!! 

• FYI- there won’t be a blah-next Wednesday. I am off to Toronto to visit my family. It has literally been years since I’ve been home and I can’t wait to hang out with everyone. That said, the ol’ laptop and I will be taking a much needed break from one another so I am leaving her in Laguna Beach. Her idea, not mine. I will Blah-g again Wednesday June 17th. And I promise it will be a good one. 
• Love you all times a billion. 
• TTYI2W*,
• Lisi  

• *talk to you in 2 wednesdays.   

The GIVE part: In the spirit of last week’s blah-g and showing you how everything changes along the way here is the final cover of Alphas. The one I showed you a few weeks ago didn’t have the fancy Pucci background OR the plot description OR that new photo of moi.    

• Now for the TAKE part: I need your help. I am working on the outline for These Boots Are Made For Stalking and I need some input.  How are 9th grade girls different from 8th grade girls?
• Who ever gives me the best details will get their name in the book. I promise.  Here are some prompts to get the juices flowing…Do they wear different makeup? Dress differently? Have different accessories? Walk/talk/act differently?  How are they around boys? How are they around friends? What do they do after school? What do they do on weekends? Do they shop at the same stores? 
• I’ll reveal the best answers and the winner next Wednesday.
• SHOUT OUT TO CARLY. You are definitely going through a lot right now. Picked on by friends, dumped by boyfriend, and being called a “show stopper” because you’re into acting. I would be bummed too. But you’re an actress. Isn’t this how so many famous people’s stories go? They were picked on in school for being kinda freaky (us drama types always are) and then they go on to become famous. And when they are accepting their Oscar/Emmy/Pulitzer/Kid’s Choice Award/MTV Movie Award/VMA… they think of their ex-boyfriend and evil ‘friends’ sitting at home on some Doritos-covered couch, dusted in dog hair, and surrounded by unpaid bills, and the years of being a freaky outcast all seem worth it. Wave your freak flag high sister and know that one day you’ll be stuffing that flagpole right up some meanie’s @$$!  Now get out there and show the non-show stoppers what you’ve got. 
• TTYW,
• Lisi 

• SHOUT OUT to Regina. I checked out your sets on polyvore and was beyond impressed. Where were you when I was designing this website??? Nice job sister. 
• Now onto biz…
• As you know I finished Alphas two weeks ago and then bolted for the desert to clean my mental hard drive. When I came back there was a puffy brown envelope waiting for me at my office…I could smell the red ink through the bubble-wrap lining. It was time for draft two. That’s right. Time to look at the manuscript with fresh eyes and make it better. 
• That’s the amazing/annoying thing about writing. It can always be better. ALWAYS. Which is why I never read my books once they’ve been published. All I want to do is rewrite everything I see. To illustrate my point here is first draft of the Alpha’s Acceptance Letter that will appear in the front of the book. 

Alpha Academy

Welcome to the inaugural class of Alpha Academy. Thousands of girls answered the alpha call, but only a hundred girls have been selected. Each girl exemplifies the alpha spirit. Each girl is an alpha in her own way.

Your illustrious class is filled with hyphenates. We have an environmentalist-poetess, a dancer-model, a Junior Wimbledon finalist–inventor, a Bollywood film star–cell phone novelist, and dozens of other multi-talents joining the alpha ranks. But a true alpha is more than her résumé. She is more than perfect pitch, a perfect turnout, a perfect ten, or even a perfect IQ score. There is an alpha factor that goes beyond talent, looks, and grades.

Welcome to Alpha Academy. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. What happens next is up to you!

Orientation begins September 5. Bring your A-game and your toothbrush. Uniforms will be provided.

Sincerely,

Shira Brazille

P.S. Enclosed is an aPod. Turn it on.

•  SNOOZER, right?

Here’s the revised version.    

Alpha Academy

G’Day and congratulations.

You have been accepted into the inaugural class of Alpha Academy. Thousands of girls answered the alpha call over the last year. One hundred have been selected. The fittest shall survive.

As you know from my #1 Bestselling autobiographies, Watch your Outback: An Aussie Orphan’s Struggle to Endure, You Can’t Eat Hope, and From Roos To Riches, I have built a billion dollar empire with nothing but good instincts and sheer determination, or rather ‘Shira determination’ as many Fortune 500 CEO’s now call it.  My FEW (Female Empowerment Workshops) have been licensed all around the world and translated into seventy languages and dialects (Krikes! Hard to believe, isn’t it?). My cosmetics line, X-Chromosome, is the leading manufacturer in beauty products for girls, worldwide. And Brazille Enterprises, well, I’ll stop here. This is about you.

My goal for Alpha Academy is to shape the next generation because my legacy will live forever but I may not.*

Should I eventually pass, I need to know that I have done my part in perfecting the female race. Why mould clay when you can shape diamonds? And if my Shira-instincts are correct, you my Lollie are a diamond.

Your illustrious class is filled with hyphenates. We have an environmentalist-poetess, a dancer-model-actress, a Junior Wimbledon winner–inventor, a Bollywood film star–cell phone novelist, and dozens of other hyper-skilled individuals. But a true alpha is more than her résumé. She is more than perfect pitch, a perfect turnout, a perfect ten, or even a perfect IQ. She is a machine with heart. She is the future. And she could be you.

Survive a year at Alpha Academy and your wildest dreams will roll out before you like a giant red carpet. I will see to it.  Fail, and the only way you’ll be walking that carpet is with a vacuum cleaner.

Orientation begins September 5^th. Bring your A-game and a toothbrush. Everything else will be provided. Enclosed is an aPod. It will explain the rest. Turn it on.

Sincerely,

(SIGNATURE HERE!)

Shira Brazille

President of Brazille Enterprises

International Alpha Female

*The status of Shira’s mortality at printing time. This may change, as BE Labs gets closer to finding a cure for death.

•  BETTER, no?
• Don’t be surprised if what you read in the actual book is different yet again. It’s all part of the process…. A writer’s work is never done. Literally. And I’m off to do more before the long weekend. 
• Have an ah-mazing Memorial Day!!!! Deezer is coming to visit from New York.  I can’t wait! Let’s hope this foggy marine layer lifts for the poor girl. She’s tan-challenged. 

TTYW,LISI 

I finished the first draft of Alphas last Thursday (yay!) and bolted for Palm Springs.  One night, two days, three girls, four real!  I needed a break. I needed to laugh. I needed a tan! I got all those and a little something extra. I got a massive test from the Confidence Gawds.  I almost failed. 

•  Last week’s blah-g was all about finding inner confidence and not letting other people affect how we feel about ourselves. Whhell, there we were sitting at a bar in Palm Springs (sipping seltzer of course) when some dude approached our table. He helped himself to the open seat and began showering us with compliments. So far so good…
•  After a while he turned to me and said he thought I had sex appeal and looked interesting. So far still so good…
• Until his next sentence… 
• He pointed to my friend and said, “I mean, she’s prettier than you but you have that special something.” 
• My ears began ringing. My innards shook. A massive egoquake shattered my foundation and turned me into a pile of rubble. Of course he had no clue. I just kept smiling and nodding like someone who wasn’t totally destroyed. BUT COME AWN! WHO SAYS THAT?
• All his comments about my sex appeal and interesting whatever evaporated. And all that remained was , “she’s prettier than you…she’s prettier than you…she’s prettier than…E-NUFF!” 
• I thought of my Blah-g last week and realized I would be a total hypocrite if I didn’t take my own advice and ignore this a@#!*@. But I couldn’t. Phrases like “move on,” “get over it,” “Let it go,” “You’re better than that,” and “Maybe he’s just not that into you,” don’t work for me. They seem hollow, trite, and dismissive. I needed something more meaningful than that to pull me out of the rubble. So I broke down my break down and now I’m breaking it down for you… 
• My friend is beautiful. Flowing, and I mean flowing, blond hair. Blue eyes. She is told she looks like Ashley Olsen. I am told I look like a billion people, all of whom have brown hair and brown eyes. See where I’m going with this? We are completely different and therefore, we will attract completely different people. Some like Coke some like Pepsi. Few like Coke and Pepsi equally. This is a good thing or we’d live in a world with one soda choice and that would be boring. 
• It’s a blessing we’re all attracted to different people or I would have been taken down years ago in a global catfight. I am a writer not a fighter. And this writer knows what she likes… 
• I can appreciate a handsome blond boy but I would never date one. I like dark dudes. Always have. Always will. Doesn’t mean blond dudes aren’t hot. It just means I am drawn to deep tans and dark eyes.  I choose funny over handsome.  I like fangs better than perfect Whitestrip teeth. I prefer slim to muscular.  I can’t hang with mainstream sports lovers. If he doesn’t read books he’s done. And guys who are too agreeable bore me. I could go on for days. The point is we are all drawn to different people for different reasons. And that’s a relief. 
• I have no doubt that guy thought my friend was prettier than me. I also have no doubt that some other guy might think I’m prettier. And I really have no doubt that many other guys thought our other friend was prettier than both of us. This is what makes the world go around. 
• This whole who’s prettier and who’s not prettier is all subjective. Take a poll. Ask your friends which celebrity they’d want to look like and which celebrity they’d want to take to prom. There’s no way you’ll get the same answer every time. What does all of this mean? It means we get chosen some of the time and rejected the rest of the time. No matter who we are, what we do, or how we look. Just ask the guy who started all of this. 
• He got rejected three times that night and ended up leaving with the bartender

SHOUT OUT TO ALEX FOR HAVING THE CONFIDENCE TO KNOW SHE’S PRETTY NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS. WE’RE RIGHT BEHIND YOU SISTER….  TTYW, Lisi 

I’m having a weird day. I keep dropping things (water bottle, plate of rice, weight- just kidding) and I feel like bawling for no reason. Truly. No reason. It’s a beautiful afternoon, my hair is at about an 8, and everyone I know is healthy. So why so sad you ask? I have no idea….Okay, maybe I kind of know…

•  I have been racing to finish Alphas. It’s due tomorrow. Three chapters to go. Since the deadline has been so tight I’ve been sending pages to my editor as I complete them so she can start reading. This has been our system for weeks and as of this morning I hadn’t heard from her. I know she’s getting them because, well, I’d hear about it if she wasn’t. But no praise. No LOL’s. No talk of Pulitzers. 
• I finally broke down today and sent her an email asking if she liked the book. I felt beyond pathetic asking her. I mean, how needy? But still, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to know if it was good. 
• Twenty minutes later I received an email back. She is loving the book and went out of her way to prove it by filling her email with all of her favorite lines. She even said something about it being the best thing I’ve ever written. She was just saving her praise until she finished the whole thing. (oops)
•  I breathed a sigh of relief…and then my stomach locked.
•  Instead of celebrating I began hating myself. Then I dropped things and stopped caring about the beautiful afternoon and my cooperative hair and my healthy loved ones I’ve been Lisi-hating ever since. 
• I mean how pathetic??? Deep down inside I knew I was loving this book. Despite the beastly deadline I was having a blast writing it and I adored how it was shaping up. So why did I need someone else to tell me it was good? The answer to that is between me and my shrink but the question is one for all of you. Why? Because I know most of you do the same thing. You need a boy’s attention to make you feel pretty. You need an A to feel smart. You need a scale to tell you when it’s okay to like your body. And you need your friends to tell you if you’re popular. 
• I am not criticizing you. I am commiserating with you. I get it. I do it. And I want to stop. 
• Experiment: For the next 24 hours let’s do our very best not to be feedback-fishers. 
• In other words, I am not going to wait for someone to tell me I can write before I feel like a writer. I am not going to wait for a construction worker to whistle at me before I feel like a babe. And I am not going to wait for a scale to take a nosedive so I can rock my new bikini in Palm Springs this weekend. In other words I am not going to wait for others to validate me. I am going to validate myself. It may feel like dancing alone or making out with a pillow but who cares? At least I’ll be dancing and making out. And that’s way more fun than dropping things. 

SHOUT OUT TO MORGAN. I loved your comment about turning into a Massie and then realizing that turning into a Massie is not what my books are about so you turned back into you. But hey, you don’t need me to tell you how smart you are. You already know, right?  

• TTYW,Lisi 

I’m feeling it again. That love-tingle I get when I read your comments is back.  You guys always (well, most of the time) say nice things about me and it’s high time I say some nice things back. So here goes: You are the best fans on the planet, okay the solar system, okay the solar system and beyond.  You are intelligent, supportive, creative, and not psychotic (as far as I know). You are the reason I am writing five books this year. It’s true. It’s not a money thing because no dollar amount is worth the stress that comes with writing five books in one year. Okay well maybe a billion dollars would ease the pain but no offers of that magnitude, or even close, have come my way. So I do it for love. Love of my characters and love of the readers who appreciate my sense of humor and get the message behind the madness. I HEART U! (I’m not dying or anything, I just felt like saying something nice so please no more “Lisi is dead” rumors.) 

•  Now for some random things…here’s a picture of me, Adam DiVello (creator of The Hills and The City) and Lauren from last week’s party. Lauren taught me how to position my arm for the camera. Make sure it’s not up against your body or it will look like you have bingo wings*. See…
• 

  Too bad she didn’t mention anything about facial shine.  

• Shoutouts…I have a few today. 
• 1) MANDY! I am a sucker for any girl who says she’s naming a street after me. How about Lisi Lane. 
• 2) LEXI MORGAN! Thanks for that sweet letter. 
• 3) SYDNEY! Actually it’s less of a shoutout and more of an answer to your question. TTYW means Talk To You Wednesday. 
• While we’re on the subject of acronyms/abbreviations can anyone tell me what MOB means? I saw it on Gossip Girl and I can’t figure it out. Serena was trying on a dress and Blair said it was MOB. Help!

Since I am feeling the love I am going to honor your requests (there were many) and post a little more of Boys R Us. If you missed the first post go to the archives and look up POST IT.  This jumps ahead to the second chapter. It’s Alicia’s first day at school without Massie as her BFF…

Briarwood–Octavian Country Day School

Outside the Auditorium

Monday, October 11th

8:37 a.m.

Alicia Rivera speed-walked down the empty, locker-lined hallway toward the auditorium, silently cursing herself for being late; today of all days. She’d lost track of time trying to find the über-perfect, alpha-worthy outfit for her first post-BFF-breakup assembly entrance. She’d changed her mind more times than Jason from the Bachelor, but had finally settled on option number nineteen: dark, curve-hugging Blank Denim skinny jeans, a thigh-skimming turquoise silk tank to make her olive skin pop, and her new charcoal gray Theory stretch vest. Caramel-colored riding boots added an equestrian chic touch to the carefully crafted ensemble.

She slowed as she reached the assembly doors. Maybe being late wasn’t such a bad thing. In fact, casually waltzing through the auditorium after assembly had started could be the perfect way to advertise just how fine she was without Massie Block breathing down her Angel perfume–spritzed neck. The perfect way to prove to BOCD, and herself, that she could capture everyone’s attention without Massie by her side. To prove that she, Alicia Rivera, was an alpha in her own right.

Then her stomach did a triple pirouette. It wasn’t that she doubted her ability to rock a solo entrance. Just the opposite. Years of dance training had prepared her for this very moment. She was ready for the spotlight, ready to drink in the admiration she deserved. It was just that she’d never made an assembly entrance without Massie before. Suddenly thinking about it felt strange. Like she’d forgotten to gloss before a lip kiss.

“. . . if I should get Jessica Alba bangs or Vanessa Hudgens bangs, and he goes, ‘What’s the difference?’” Huffed a honey-blond seventh-grader wearing a long black skirt, giant white sunglasses, and a floor-grazing hand-knit scarf.

“How can he nawt see the difference?” squealed her friend, whose giant black sweater coat made her look like death. “Jessica’s are curtains drawn and Vanessa’s are curtains open.”

“I knoooow,” bellowed Long Skirt.

Alicia rolled her eyes. The Mary-Kate Olsen look had just hit the seventh grade, as though it had been stuck at customs for two years and finally made it through. It was hard to believe anyone could be more behind the trends than her Spanish cousins, but hobo chic was spreading faster than strep this semester.

When Grim Reaper and Long Skirt disappeared into the auditorium, Alicia took a deep, calming breath and got ready to make a fresh start.

“And five, and six, ah-se-ven, eight!” she whisper-counted, bursting through the double doors.

Deafening chatter poured over her like a tsunami the second she stepped inside. Students were milling around the aisles, weaving through the rows of creaky wooden chairs as Principal Burns shuffled papers at the podium onstage. Dean Don was huddled with Mr. Myner and a few of the other teachers in the front row, whispering intently.

Alicia strategically stepped into the dusty spotlight that poured through the stained-glass windows. This was her moment.

“Heads up!” A guy’s voice rose over the noise. Alicia ducked just in time, narrowly missing getting whacked in the head by a soccer cleat.

“Ehmagawd!” Straightening up, she whip-turned toward the offender. But he was too busy high-fiving his buddies to notice.

Panicked, Alicia considered ducking back through the doors and starting over. This wasn’t working. She should have waited until she heard Principal Burns’s voice over the microphone. But it was too late; there was no turning back now.

That’s all for now….

TTYW,

Lisi

* Bingo Wings- flabby arms often associated with elderly female bingo players.  

• I am now a Twitter Tweeter. If you care what I am doing feel free to follow me. I go by my name LisiHarrison. I had a picture but they are having photo issues and it’s not working right now. So I look like this…

• Great news for she-gamers: Warner Bros. Interactive will publish The Clique: Diss and Make Up on Nintendo DS this Fall. The game will feature characters from the book and some new ones as they work their way up the social ladder to become part of the ultimate clique. It also includes mini games where you can take on new challenges and try to make friends to increase your popularity. Thank Gawd it’s just a game though, right? Because you guys would never act that desperate in real life, would you?
•  I didn’t think so. :) 
•   Today’s shout out goes to Jess. Actually, it’s not a shout out more like a shout in, as in I’m shouting IN your ear hoping you will listen to what I am about to say: SISTER, IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY BOOKS AND WANT TO “SELL THEM IN A GARAGE SALE” THAT’S FINE WITH ME. YOU DON’T HAVE TO LIKE THEM. BUT IF YOU DID LIKE THEM AND ONLY WANT TO SELL THEM BECAUSE THERE WAS A JOKE THAT YOU DIDN’T UNDERSTAND THAT’S NOT FINE WITH ME. THE TWILIGHT LINE IN THE ALPHA’S EXCERPT I POSTED LAST WEEK (”we’re doing Twyla not Twilight so stop sucking.”) WAS A PLAY ON VAMPIRE’S SUCKING. NAWT THE TWILIGHT SERIES SUCKING.  One last thing from Massie: Are you a broken pencil? Then why are you missing the point? 
• Sorry for shouting. I had two hours of sleep last night and I’m a little cranky. I went to LA with some friends and, well, the good news is we had a blast partying with the cast of The Hills at Les Deux. The bad news is I have a book to write and I keep yawning so tears are flooding my eyes and I can’t see the computer screen. Time for a Diet Coke. 

TTYW,Lisi